


Life, is how we call it

by xanderixion



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 17:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8498665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanderixion/pseuds/xanderixion
Summary: What a reality is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for messy language and grammar, English is not my mother language. Please enjoy!

Iwaizumi drove his sedan with high speed, ignoring the buildings that lined to observe, letting the strands behind his window blew by the night bone-chilling wind. He lost count on how many vehicles passed him occasionally. He didn't care about how many red lights that he lunge. He didn't care about all of that.

The city was already looks quite dead, with oddly deserted street. Way it should be if you look at your watch and discover that this is one o'clock in the morning. And Iwaizumi Hajime still didn't care.

Then what's on his head?

Might have sounded melancholy, but, what is currently raging uncontrollably in his spiky head was just memories. Memories of every corner of the town.

.

.

.

Iwaizumi stopped at one of the convenience store was first to be seen just to satisfy his mouth that deserted after hours of air travel from _John F. Kennedy_. Who would have thought he is now a heavy smoker after a certain breakup a few years ago. And again, who would have thought someone behaved like grandpop could even had his heart broken?

Oh, of course it is one hell of his story laid in this city.

Miyagi has not changed much since he left eight years ago. No, Iwaizumi didn’t left because of the breakup. Well, despite it might be one of the reasons why Iwaizumi accept the job offer in the United States that he didn’t even think of though. At least, he did not regret what he had chose. Though he was confident that he was still quite unstable in deciding the future with his age at that time. However, he did knew that he should thank young Iwaizumi.

The last time he came to Miyagi about two years ago because of his father's funeral, and he hadn’t met this certain person. Quite relieved indeed, but the disappointment is big enough to cover the relief buried. Iwaizumi now, at least sure that he is stable. Maybe. Nobody knows what he would do when he meet this certain person who used to be the most important person in his life, shoulder he could rest, after eight years separated by the continents and oceans. Although he often said that being together with that certain person is very inconvenient, but he’s sure unrelenting missing those times when they were both on Iwaizumi’s cramped bed, cuddling until morning. That memory kept appearing, filled his head.

Iwaizumi leaned back on a park bench after his motorcycle parked not far from there. He deeply breath in a bunch of nicotine that has ruined his dream of becoming a national volleyball player. After all, everything had already done, he thought. Yeah, everything had already done.

"Iwa-chan?"

Yeah right. Fuck this life. As crazy as what that he is now reach to the point of hallucinating, hoping those voice called him back. Noisy tenor voice that had once belonged to him, which is beautifully gasped his name in his ear. Voice that wasn't tired of making Iwaizumi ears buzzing in bliss. Clingy whining voice only to request so Iwaizumi accompanied him to sleep. Voice that belong to the owner of those hazel eyes who met with his wide open onyx just now.

"Oi-Oikawa ...?"

  
.

  
.

  
.

  
Awkward.

They may be equally aware that the god of luck happened to be on each othis’s shoulders. But they also realize that this coincidence is not what they’ve been expecting of. None of them are making sounds. Both are drown in their own thoughts, searching for the beginning of all the things they wanted to say to each other. Too many have passed, too many stories they don’t bother to know. Only a residual smell of nicotine from cigarettes Iwaizumi stampede that fill their emptiness. Even an Oikawa could not speak.

"Iwa-"

"Can I hug you ...?" Iwaizumi voiced his courage, turned his head to the man sitting next to him. Trying to give his best smile. One best smile for his old friend.

Oikawa stared at Iwaizumi with gaze that Iwaizumi couldn’t understand. However, Oikawa agreed with a slight nod and let Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around Oikawa’s spine. After seconds, Iwaizumi sure he could hear the sound of soft sobs on his shoulder and feel this tight grip from Oikawa’s palm on his back. His heart was pounding very fast. His eyes were already hot.

"Where have you been, idiot? What happened with all my emails and messages?" Oikawa’s soft voice was hoarse. He knew his shoulder has already wet now.

"Sorry."

"Don’t you think it’s useless to apologize now?" Oikawa shoulder vibrate slowly, tried so hard on holding the sound of his sobs so not to become clearer.

"I'm sorry, Oikawa."

Then another quietness. They could only feel the warmth of each others in the cold of the night. Iwaizumi wasn’t sure he could managed to retain these fluid beneath his eyelids, which then spilled once, and disappeared. Seeped into brown sweater Oikawa worn.

"How come you missed my fathers’ funeral?"

"Hajime, how come you missed wedding ceremony?"

Iwaizumi sure is a fool. He regretted that he brought the matter, because he could feel the pain in his chest overflowing just like a waterfall. The pain that had apparently not disappear even after many years.

"I... came to your house that time... but, I don’t even know that you’re home," said Oikawa still hugged Iwaizumi tightly.

Fuck. Apparently this is what he feared all along. Reality.

"Sorry, I'm going straight back to United States for work," Iwaizumi could feel Oikawa’s warm breath on his ear.

"So..." said Oikawa hanging. Iwaizumi carefully replied,

"So?"

"Why don’t you reply any of my emails? Why don’t you attend my wedding invitation? Why don’t you contact me? You hate me now? "

"Tooru..." Iwaizumi tightened his embrace on the body which as big as his and as fragile as his self, which shoulders vibrated more.

"I missed you, stupid Hajime..." Oikawa was still sobbing. Iwaizumi’s heart getting more broken by pieces, knowing whom feel the longing was not himself only.

"I..." Iwaizumi swallowed and continued, "I just can’t, Tooru... My feelings have not changed even since then." Iwaizumi finally dared to say. The fact hit Iwaizumi, broke him, and pushed him down into the abyss that he'd been surrounded by high-voltage fence. After all this time he was convinced that he had forgotten Oikawa, this chasm is now wide open for him.

Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi slowly, releasing his arms. He stared at Iwaizumi sorely. His face was red, his eyes swollen, his face looked incredulous.

"B-but... you said..."

Iwaizumi paused.

"I'm sorry, even now I still love you... I just want you to move on and have a happier life. You really want to have kids, right? I couldn’t give you those, you know." Iwaizumi smiled vacantly toward Oikawa.

"But your attitude used to be..." Oikawa remember when Iwaizumi started to make some space between them and showed little affection to Oikawa long time ago. That time, Oikawa was really sure that Iwaizumi was avoiding him. Now Iwaizumi still smiling. Expect Oikawa to understand. It was the most painful smile for both of them. 

"You’re a moron, Hajime..." Oikawa sadly laugh.

"Yes... I am aware..."

They're so fucked up. Iwaizumi is so fucked up.

"I've got kids now... and my wife is waiting for me to go home," Oikawa said between his pouring tears on his red cheeks, "and now I see you instead. What kind of destiny is this again?"

Iwaizumi paused before answering, "good for you, right?"

"Fuck you, Hajime..."

"Can I ask for my last kiss?"

"You won’t dare," Oikawa’s laughter slicing Iwaizumi heart. It's an enough trigger to make Iwaizumi came closer and crushed those red lips of Oikawa which he has not tasted for a long time. Oikawa does not reject or kissing Iwaizumi back. He remained silent as his tears kept flowing, while Iwaizumi still desperately kissed him and waiting for Oikawa to kiss him back. However, what he was expecting is never come. That alone is enough to make Iwaizumi know that Oikawa actually decided to reject him.

Pain in Iwaizumi’s chest told him to release his lips from Oikawa’s. He might die of a broken heart for the second time if he keep kissing Oikawa when the owner of those hazel eyes didn’t want it any longer. One inch, two inches, when then a pounding united their lips together again. This time, Oikawa started it.

_Stupid, Tooru. You're an idiot_. Iwaizumi kissed Oikawa with same desperation, pulled Oikawa’s neck, deepen their kiss, and letting their tongues danced by the rhythm of misery. Iwaizumi now know how a full-of-wound-kiss tasted, salty.

.

.

"Be careful Iwa-chan! Let me bring your suitcase!" Oikawa still as noisy as first Iwaizumi met him. Iwaizumi smiled, "please bring them all okay, butler."

"Eeeeeeeh, Iwa-chan so meaaannn! I'm not your servant!" Even though Oikawa speak so, he still handled the suitcase and walked next to Iwaizumi. They walked without talking until they were sitting outside of waiting room, where Oikawa could still accompany Iwaizumi. And the only noise was from the loudspeaker announcing that morning’s flight schedule that fill the silence between them.

"When will you go back to Japan again?" Iwaizumi clearly hear the question. However, what makes him turned his head was because of Oikawa’s hand which now held his own hand.

"Why don’t you go to America instead? Bring your wife and kid to spend your holiday there, you can also stay at my apartment."

Oikawa smiled widely, "Well, that’s actually a great idea Iwa-chan! I’ll contact you later, what important is you to reply my messages. Don’t just ignore me."

"When I want to," said Iwaizumi then entwined his fingers with Oikawa’s. Oikawa's heart got warm.

"Iwa-chan, so mean!"

They were still holding hands, didn’t care about those stares from the busy day at the airport. Oikawa and Iwaizumi equally aware that after this, they must assume that evening never existed. But at least, Iwaizumi knows that he has been through what’s most important, accepting the reality. And at last, he knew that this time Oikawa can be happy even without him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for hurting our babies. I know, just kill me-


End file.
